capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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