If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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