i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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