A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
