Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
