The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
