Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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