So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
that may or may not have been my penis.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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