was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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