You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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