remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize