I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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