So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
