and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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