yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
