I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me