I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?