just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
