Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.