Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dating After Heartbreak
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.