I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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