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• (626): View more from California

  i need an iv and a liver transplant

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He told me I remind him of his sister...

  (917): View more from New York City

  Was this before or after you did it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Playoffs. This shit is serious.

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• (315): View more from New York

  He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  rest in peace liver.

  (254): View more from Texas

  It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.

  (512): View more from Texas

  that's going in my livers obituary.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  will a lunchtime blow job make it better?

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