are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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