oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
