Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
