i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
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You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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