so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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