i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
