So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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