I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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