Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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