no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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