How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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