Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
