He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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