Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
