You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
