He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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