Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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