you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
