Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You are a genius and a whore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize