Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
