I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
