I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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