For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
