We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just pee around me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Randomize
