and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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