these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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