the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize