Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
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I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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