I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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