he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize