he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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