my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
