some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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