i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize