Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
