I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
