I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
