Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
