i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
