More tranny stories later!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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