It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
